let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
4 words: hood of his car
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
