Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
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Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
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I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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