are you still at the devil's house?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
