ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
