it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
