My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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