it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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