He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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