New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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