Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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