Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
