That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You ruined the universe
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
