Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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