how do flat chested girls get laid?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She told me I should be a condom model.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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