What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
