he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
