I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize