Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
