Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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