I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
