Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
