Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize