do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Naked. naked and bneed help.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
