Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
