I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
