Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
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They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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