yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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