I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
