I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We had sex on a dog bed..
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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