I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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