apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I am midnight drunk by noon
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
