I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize