I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
