i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize