tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
