You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
