He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
