Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
