never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
