I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize