I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
