I wish I could teleport
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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