Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Are my feet made of real feet?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
