theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize