Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
