i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Congratulations! We have a period
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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