mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
