Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
