now i know why i became what i already was.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize