Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize