I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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