I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
