And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
