he puts the penis in happiness.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
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Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
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Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high