Sry I called you an 8
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..