Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(607): View more from New York

I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me

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(718): View more from New York

you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out

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(208): View more from Idaho

aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.

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(316): View more from Kansas

So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses

(1-316): View more from Kansas

That sounds dangerous

(316): View more from Kansas

Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(715): View more from Wisconsin

hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?

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(530): View more from California

So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?

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(616): View more from Michigan

Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?

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(541): View more from Oregon

We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.

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