We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
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It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
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I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation