Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I cannot find my penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I cannot find my penis. http://tfl.nu/w331
  Replies (32) Good night (809) Bad night (2434)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery. http://tfl.nu/hvee
  Replies (12) Good night (674) Bad night (4684)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you. http://tfl.nu/vvmp
  Replies (21) Good night (6039) Bad night (1481)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again. http://tfl.nu/rkzi
  Replies (27) Good night (6236) Bad night (816)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken http://tfl.nu/dqor
  Replies (17) Good night (945) Bad night (5902)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  I used to practice getting hit by cars.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): I used to practice getting hit by cars. http://tfl.nu/t3x2
  Replies (23) Good night (2252) Bad night (3420)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement. http://tfl.nu/p08o
  Replies (2) Good night (2216) Bad night (1296)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home. http://tfl.nu/nin0
  Replies (12) Good night (8658) Bad night (919)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning.... http://tfl.nu/jakw
  Replies (5) Good night (2628) Bad night (1470)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty http://tfl.nu/7xz1
  Replies (6) Good night (2194) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger. http://tfl.nu/yx75
  Replies (13) Good night (2458) Bad night (992)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet? http://tfl.nu/3lpx
  Replies (4) Good night (450) Bad night (818)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (229): Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it .. http://tfl.nu/xli3
  Replies (11) Good night (2898) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure. http://tfl.nu/1ib6
  Replies (3) Good night (914) Bad night (308)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink http://tfl.nu/s3j7
  Replies (3) Good night (1150) Bad night (267)

Randomize