Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.

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(516): View more from New York

I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH

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(208): View more from Idaho

His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.

(1-208): View more from Idaho

HE'S 26!!!

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(203): View more from Connecticut

I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.

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(706): View more from Georgia

just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.

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(425): View more from Washington

If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.

(210): View more from Texas

100%

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.

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