the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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