We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
