You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
