You're so nebulous sometimes
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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