We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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