Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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