She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
