I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize