Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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