East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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